Warrior Woman Project

Warrior Woman Project


Hands up who remembers the scene in Bridget Jones when Mark Darcy tells her he likes her just as she is? Now keep those hands up if you, like me, felt a thrill at the prospect of someone loving you like that. Still all raised? Yep. Now here is the tricky one, keep them raised if that someone was yourself! Waaaaay less hands up I expect. 

Why do we feel so strongly about finding a partner that loves us just as we are but we don’t set the same standards for our relationship with ourselves?

Style Me Sunday is an incredible fashion blogger and ex-midwife who put together the Warrior Woman Project several years ago. The third one, this year is called Fierce and is all about loving the skin you are in, being brave and not letting anything stop you from being your best self.

They held an event a few weeks ago which had inspiring speakers, live art and a very, very brave photoshoot. Loads of the top female U.K. bloggers attended and stripped down to as little as their fish finger jewellery (a delightful FU to the Daily Fail) to help shout out the Warrior Woman message! 

It got me thinking long and hard about my own relationship with my body. I am pretty hard on myself. Despite the fact that I have grown two beautiful babies, birthed them, fed them both for a time and done things like running Pretty Muddy with my friends, I don’t equate the wonderfulness of those achievements with what I see in the mirror. All I see is a body that I wish was about a stone (or more) lighter, a tummy that is permanently rounded, stretch marks and a scar, sad empty boobs and a face that needs make up to look ‘right’. 

I constantly compare myself to other people, whether that is people I see on Instagram or on tv. It is a terrible habit, especially when the media and online are not real representations of anything. I took two pictures of myself today, neither of them makes me comfortable and posting them on here is giving me the serious heebie-jeebies so please be kind! One shows how much more slim and toned you can look with a bit of posing and lighting and the other is just me, lumps and all. 


The point of me making a tit of myself in my underwear online is, anyone can make themselves look smaller,prettier and more glamorous but it doesn’t make it the truth so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t look like that!


I can’t teach my children to have pride in themselves no matter what if I can’t even do it myself. So no more worrying about my weight or my skin, no more crazy diets and more time focusing on what makes me happy and healthy (don’t worry that doesn’t include any further mincing about in my pants online!) 

Please go and check out Style Me Sunday and read about the Warrior Woman Project and her style as I think she’s pretty damn awesome! https://www.stylemesunday.com/

And please, please, be your own Mr Darcy and love you just as you are!! 

K x

If you can’t stand the heat…

If you can’t stand the heat…

Stay out of the kitchen, laundry room and anywhere else that needs some attention! That’s right, drop your usual roster of housework and laundry and even cooking and get outdoors. There is sunshine in Glasgow people!! 

H is not thrilled by the heat at all, yet another reason I’m neglecting my housewifely duties. He’s been cranky and sticky and all round not his usually delightful self which is a real shame to see. I’m doing my best to comfort him and keep him cool but in order to do that something else has to give and I’d rather it was my home and not me. 


So often we put masses of pressure on ourselves to be on top of everything all the time…care for the kids 100%, cook lovely meals, keep the house clean and tidy and stylish, lose the baby weight, look good, spend time with our partners, friends, family. Plus get back out to work and have an awesome career to show everyone you can have it all.  Then when the shit (sometimes literally) hits the fan we have to dial it up to 11. 

Phew I am shattered just typing that, imagine how tired we all are trying to be superheroes? Is it worth it? I think not. 

My laundry will get done, my real friends will know I will text back eventually and next week I will cook a showstopping dinner again but today I am going to take a walk in the park and just enjoy the sunshine.


K x

Winning and Losing.

Winning and Losing.

This morning the baby and I were out the house by 9.30am walking 45 minutes to cheer on R at his sports day. We were both clean and suitably dressed for the day…that is a win in my books my friends. 


Watching the kids ‘compete’ in the various activities it became more and more apparent to me that for them it wasn’t so much the winning,losing or even taking part that counted so much as having fun. I saw little boys ditching attempts at javelin in favour of using the foam sticks as swords, little girls of all ages cartwheeling all over the pitch, and sheer joy on all their faces when a particularly tiny classmate was helped to leap over a hurdle that was too high! 


That’s what I think parenthood should be too…not just the winning on days when you get by with ease, not the losing when you all eat beige food and drink a sneaky gin at 6.30pm and not just the act of having and raising kids. The moments of joy are what it’s all about, like R passing by me today on a coach on route to the sports centre and losing his tiny mind waving because he spotted me heaving the pram uphill. What a damn delight that was! 

K x

Guest Post – Social Media Mums and Mental Health 

Guest Post – Social Media Mums and Mental Health 

I am thrilled to have this post to share with you all today written by my best friend Katie…and yes before you ask double the Katie’s really is double the trouble! 


Before you’ve read this article you’ve probably already had a strong opinion on this topic if you’re a mum and you have social media accounts. Personally, I find it a very important and completely ignored area of mental health. The pathological damage that is possible from viewing the lives of others from their (very carefully) edited perspective is so dangerous. My name is Katie, and I’m your guest blogger today. 

A little background on myself- I’m married to a head chef and mum to two boys: Theodore, aged 2 years 7 months, and George, 4.5 months. I take motherhood very seriously, and nearly completely lost myself in it all after having Theo. The Unmumsy Mum blog really, truly helped me to see that there is NO SUCH THING as being a perfect mum, having a perfect pregnancy or perfect marriage. Katie (of ‘Mama Says’ genius) is my best friend and I’m so proud of her honest blog on motherhood.  

If you are a blogger, you have a responsibility to your readers. Is a woman reading your blog and comparing herself to you? YES SHE IS. In every way. If your reader is already undergoing intense personal struggles, one flippant comment could be the catalyst to a downturn in her mental health. Now, I’m not saying this is the bloggers fault, but mindfulness is key here.  

Other points about pregnancy that I feel are important: 

Sex: your partner will probably be frightened of hurting you/the baby/the bump freaks him out etc. So you wont have as much sex as normal. Most men think their penis is so big it will poke the baby and you seriously can’t talk them down from this! Mega lolz. If it’s so then high five! If you read that someone is having loads of pregnant sex and this is your first pregnancy, believe me, that’s some freak-show shit going on there.  

Stretch Marks: first baby I didn’t get any until 36 weeks, second baby, I got loads. I used the oils and yadda yadda yadda, but if those little fuckers are coming, there’s no stopping them. Who gives a shit? I’ve had two big healthy babies and those stretch marks are literally the least of my worries. If your partner finds them unattractive, leave him. Asshole.  

Birth: after planning a natural birth and breastfeeding, I ended up with 2 C-sections (one emergency and one necessary due to size of baby). I felt and still do feel so judged about this. I was not ‘too posh to push’ or frightened of the pain. Birth isn’t a competition and having the quickest, easiest delivery doesn’t mean you ‘win’. You aren’t better than someone who hasn’t had a natural delivery. Do what keeps you and the baby safe, and what you are comfortable with. These things don’t always go to plan. That’s ok. 

Baby Weight: you’ve just spent 9 months growing a person, housing it, feeding it and then delivering it. You may snap back into shape, but you may not. If you don’t (hi there! Me either!) this is NORMAL. I can 99% guarantee your husband will still want to have sex with you and wont notice extra lumps or bumps. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t deserve you. Leave him. Give yourself a year to get the weight off, buy cheap, bigger clothes from Primarni and chill. You just had a baby! So many women can’t and would love to have baby weight. When you’re having a bad day, just tell yourself that. 

Motherhood: best thing ever BUT. If you find it hard, wonder what the point is, hate the baby stage, miss going out getting mad with it, scream into your pillow with frustration when no one is around (me on Monday just gone), cry and miss your flat tummy like a lost lover, that’s NORMAL. Just because ‘Kaz’ from high school puts pictures on of her and the kids baking every two minutes and constantly talks about how ‘ace’ they are and is always smiling, it doesn’t mean it’s true. If it is, she has no personality and the IQ of a dick head. More likely, she’s losing her shit with them over the tone of the lilac royal icing and screaming at her perfect kids over the mess on her engineered oak floors. Baking with kids is awful awful awful. Buy a sponge cake for £1 and let them decorate it. That’s fun. Letting little Jimmy loose with the golden syrup is one step closer to the edge of madness.

So. This may help, it may not. Just always remember that if you share your life, you have a responsibility to be honest and truthful. I’m not suggesting you tell FB about your husbands erectile dysfunction or the fact that you actually have a favourite child (if you do, you shouldn’t. Awful person that you are), but don’t pretend you find pregnancy or motherhood easy if you don’t. Share your real feelings, and have a laugh about it. Katie (Mama Says) and I say THE most heinous things to each other and scream laughing about it. A problem shared and all that. And if you do have social-media-Mum-wankers on your friends list and they bother you, unfollow them. Simple. 

Katie 

Choices

Choices

Today my son will make his own choices about what to have for his lunch… a free school lunch that as a P1 he receives between now and the end of P3. A free lunch that Theresa May wants to take away from him.


Today I will make my choice about who to vote for and I will make that choice with my children firmly in mind. It’s a no brainer for me frankly and yet I still fear that come tomorrow Theresa and her wealthy cronies will still be in charge.

I cannot and will not tell you who to vote for, I can only hope that you vote for a better future for us all. What I can tell you to do is to vote. I don’t care that it’s cold and wet, just get out there and bloody vote! Please don’t waste that choice. 

K x

Heavy Heart

Heavy Heart

I decided not to write anything after Manchester because I couldn’t find the right words. It was all just so sad, too pointless, these beautiful lives snuffed out in a moment. An experience of pure joy turned to ashes. I held my boys a little closer that week, and when my beloved best friend KJ came up from Manchester to Glasgow I hugged her even tighter than I thought possible. 

This morning I woke at 4.30am with a wide awake baby and to my dismay read the news that another attack had occurred in London. One of my favourite cities in the world, hurt once again by evil cowards. I grieve for the families who have lost loved ones whilst rejoicing in my little family, an internal struggle that leaves me feeling guilty. Thankfully I can always rely on this Albus Dumbledore quote from JK Rowling to help…


So today I wake with a heavy heart but I know it will soar again soon at my boys, Colin and their antics.

Love to you all in these darkest days,

K x