Hands up who remembers the scene in Bridget Jones when Mark Darcy tells her he likes her just as she is? Now keep those hands up if you, like me, felt a thrill at the prospect of someone loving you like that. Still all raised? Yep. Now here is the tricky one, keep them raised if that someone was yourself! Waaaaay less hands up I expect.
Why do we feel so strongly about finding a partner that loves us just as we are but we don’t set the same standards for our relationship with ourselves?
Style Me Sunday is an incredible fashion blogger and ex-midwife who put together the Warrior Woman Project several years ago. The third one, this year is called Fierce and is all about loving the skin you are in, being brave and not letting anything stop you from being your best self.
They held an event a few weeks ago which had inspiring speakers, live art and a very, very brave photoshoot. Loads of the top female U.K. bloggers attended and stripped down to as little as their fish finger jewellery (a delightful FU to the Daily Fail) to help shout out the Warrior Woman message!
It got me thinking long and hard about my own relationship with my body. I am pretty hard on myself. Despite the fact that I have grown two beautiful babies, birthed them, fed them both for a time and done things like running Pretty Muddy with my friends, I don’t equate the wonderfulness of those achievements with what I see in the mirror. All I see is a body that I wish was about a stone (or more) lighter, a tummy that is permanently rounded, stretch marks and a scar, sad empty boobs and a face that needs make up to look ‘right’.
I constantly compare myself to other people, whether that is people I see on Instagram or on tv. It is a terrible habit, especially when the media and online are not real representations of anything. I took two pictures of myself today, neither of them makes me comfortable and posting them on here is giving me the serious heebie-jeebies so please be kind! One shows how much more slim and toned you can look with a bit of posing and lighting and the other is just me, lumps and all.
The point of me making a tit of myself in my underwear online is, anyone can make themselves look smaller,prettier and more glamorous but it doesn’t make it the truth so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t look like that!
I can’t teach my children to have pride in themselves no matter what if I can’t even do it myself. So no more worrying about my weight or my skin, no more crazy diets and more time focusing on what makes me happy and healthy (don’t worry that doesn’t include any further mincing about in my pants online!)
Please go and check out Style Me Sunday and read about the Warrior Woman Project and her style as I think she’s pretty damn awesome! https://www.stylemesunday.com/
And please, please, be your own Mr Darcy and love you just as you are!!