The ones before the one…

I thought I would share a bit of a different side of me with you all. Not everyone will know my romantic background, not everyone will care, but it’s my blog so I’m sharing anyway.

My ‘the one’ is Colin, a man 9 years my senior and someone I never expected to fall for. He was a good friend, a work colleague and when my marriage ended, a real support to me which all blossomed into him being the love of my life. We make a pretty unlikely pairing to the uneducated eye but even 3 years on, an extra kid in and in the depths of sleep deprivation he makes me laugh and my heart bursts with love for him. Gaaaah that’s way loveydovey but true.

Obviously as I mentioned there was a husband before there was Colin, and a few other ‘the ones’ who turned out not to be so oneish after all. Each ending left me with something new learned and got me where I am today so I guess the old adage about kissing a few frogs to find a prince is true.

1. The ex husband….I gained a child and a whole raft of life lessons from this relationship. Mainly about realising my own self worth, not doing what’s expected of you even when you know its wrong, and quite a lot about food (he was a chef). What happened is frankly a whole other blog post but what I will say is that I’m glad I married him, and I’m more glad that I left him as we are both in far happier relationships for it.

2. The first love….Many people wonder for years what would have happened had they stayed with their first love. Sometimes they try and revisit that relationship, sometimes it works out and they are reunited and live happily ever after. I couldn’t do this even if I wanted to…my first love now bats for the other team. Yup. He is still one of my favourite people I have ever dated, a sarcastic, funny, ginger delight of a man. I like to joke with him that I ruined him for all other women so he turned to men. Sometimes he humours me and agrees, mostly he fake laughs and goes back to telling me off for cutting my hair.

3. The best friend…ok so I have a bit of a recurring theme of falling for my friends! This one was my uni boyfriend and we were inseparable, sharing beds and cigarettes, misbehaving and having pretty much the time of our 18 year old lives along with our close knit group of fellow Geddes Court reprobates. This is the one that makes me sad sometimes, when we broke up (thanks to my own idiot wild behaviour) I lost him as my best friend, the rest of the group of boys and his family too who I just thought was wonderful. We still follow on social media and have wished each other the best in our lives so it’s all good. I definitely learned not to lose a good thing when you have it after this one, a lesson I cherish in my relationship today!

4. The wild fling. Says it all really. There was a handful of these before I settled down with the husband and they were mostly all a joy. I learned to be proud of my sexual side and to love myself. I also learned that boys can be shitheads from some of these and sometimes you need to recognise a knight in shining armour is just a twat in a tin can.

Love is a funny thing my friends and I’m glad I have found it now. It’s been a hell of a ride, no pun intended, getting here and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Any funny ex tales from you lot? 

K x


  1. November 16, 2017 / 7:31 am

    “A twat in a tin can”, hahaha! I really enjoyed this, I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to share my own but my nosey side loves reading other people’s!

    • November 16, 2017 / 7:51 am

      Glad you enjoyed lovely! I tried to keep it a bit subtle and not go all out lawsuit inducing 😂

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